"Crazy cat Lady" or Modeling your current life upon an impossible scenario

Talk about encircling the Venn Diagrams or how to tighten your Karass without really trying.
We did lose a Brother to Pale Horse today. her name was Judy. Well-known, well-loved, and just an all around excellent friend. 
It has me thinking about the road I have taken and the friendships and feelings and emotions that I have encountered over the last 40 years. I went in to this whole deal of a new club, a new group, with bunches of excitement. Heck, I was 23 years old! Do things that you do before you are 30 make a difference later in life? Uh, yeah! 
So what has this to do with Cats, or me, or Math, for that matter?
I was born on the 'wrong side of the tracks'. If one can relate this to music, the socially ept girls and the "born to privilege" were like the song "Dawn, Go Away" Me, I  was more like "Ragdoll". Any one who remembers these songs from the fifties and early sixties, can probably relate to this concept. 
My reality has been fractured, time after time, within the past 10 years. Grief and Loss, Grief and Loss. I have achieved no closure, no sense of  the "why" of it all. People that I have known and loved, in a household which treasures it's own. What does all this mean to me? Am I missing something? 

I think I am about ready to buy the little house on a corner (figuratively) get my stuff in and myself more or less intact, and change my name to Mrs. Friddle (with 47 cats)

Any body care to send me a "Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit?" (no, seriously, don't do that, I live in a two bedroom place!!! seriously don't! ) 
I am tempted to go over to Live Journal and see if anything has been updated there.  I' am tired, It is late, and the two cats will probably be sprawled on the bed, not leaving much 'real estate' for me.
Good night. Amy. 3/20/15